Of those who did not spoil the housing problem





23.10.2010 10:13
Once upon a time he and she. It is - from Moscow, he - from the Moscow region. Lived well, not yet divorced. But after a divorce are living strange.

They met, while still young, people in the institute. At the same time and married. Since neither he nor she had her dwelling was not in Moscow, initially lived with her parents. But then pull their socks up and, with the help of his parents have sold well-equipped house and move into housing simpler, bought the apartment. Fortunately there was no limit. Not that her parents appeared some intractable conflicts, but the tightness and inability to live their lives simply overpowering.

Soon they had a baby. This further strengthens the already tight-knit family. Child adored by both parents and could dobalovat to some unimaginable limits, if not suddenly descended upon the family trouble. Husband fell ill. When recovered, it appears that everything is fine, but for men its functions it is no longer able to perform ever.

First, they decided it was not in bed thing. But a few years, and she realized that she could not live normally, without changing her husband. She would have wanted, but God gave her enough thirst for normal sexual relations. None. She has not changed. Just realized that someday it definitely will happen. And the thought did not call it disgust.

The only thing she could not admit - to put her husband in a sad situation cuckold. Therefore, the torment for a while, she decided - divorce. The husband tried to dissuade her, saying that you can somehow arrange his life so that nobody suffers, and the family would remain intact, but she did not heed the entreaties and, taking with him the child was gone.

To the parents did not want to come back. She rented an apartment nearby with her husband on their former nest. First, she did not want to impede communication father and child, and secondly, schools, hospitals and friends - all were in the area.

It would seem that this is possible and finish the story: sad, but who does not happen? But there it was. Only it`s a bit settled in a rented apartment, came my husband (now former), and said that he could not allow it with the child Myka on the corners, while he is nobility in their own homes. If she does not want to live with it - her right. But he will leave.

She listened carefully and explained that he could not accept his sacrifice. Firstly, it is not to blame for the misfortune descended upon him, as she put it in the situation is further suffering, and secondly, this is it - the initiator of the divorce, then her and leave. In the apartment she did not return.

Then he said that, too, can not live like this. It wants to or does not want it out of their joint property move out. Let stands empty. And move out.

Since then, both live, taking shelter, and their apartment is vacant in anticipation. By the way, he, of course, also took temporary shelter nearby. For the same reasons that she did.

It seems that both are happy with the situation, but their friends are wondering: while, ever since Bulgakov, all Muscovites port and the housing problem, where were those two? Or perhaps they, too, is terminally flawed, but we do not see it?

Comment psychologist Barbara Sidorova:

Unfortunately, in such a form in which this story is told, comment on it fully and to make definite conclusions impossible. But we can offer several options.

Option One:
Perhaps these people - the members are very complicated and strained relations. Their divorce, although formally it and there was, in fact, was not. Internally, they are not separated. In this pair is still very rich emotional interaction. Everything that is happening - only a stage reconstruction of their relationship.

On the background of the dance on the available information is difficult to judge. But often this kind of game suit people whose lives are constantly subconsciously there theme of guilt, punishment and redemption.

For example, many believe (or are accustomed to it) all that relates to sexual attraction, especially in women, is unacceptable, dirty and taboo. Women wishing relationship with a man (especially if she is married), immediately begins to blame. Accordingly, the behavior of his wife, deprives himself of worldly comfort, - a sort of atonement for that sin.

As for her husband, then an underlying attitude of the masses at all times assumed that a real man - a male. And if not a male, then not quite true. Accordingly, the man with whom happened impotence may feel guilty and defective, unworthy of anything good.

Perhaps two of these feelings of guilt came into conflict. Each of them would have been easier if the partner showed indignation. Burden of guilt would be easier. But the partners have not before. He would like to see someone removed his guilt.

That`s it and you have to punish their own guns, rather than to agree that they can still join and whether married life in such circumstances.

Option Two:
Maybe before us a fragment of some long-manipulation, has not yet had come to an end. But, as we see only a small piece, say and do some hard conclusions here.

Option Three:
And yet we can assume that everything happens exactly as described. That is, the two met a man with a very clear and specific rule of life and desire to follow those rules, regardless of how it is practical and accepted in the modern world.

Perhaps it seemed to them the most attractive in each other when they met. In the end, this situation is unusual, but no cause of evil. Nothing bad happens. And even if most people would have acted otherwise, it does not mean that the couple goes wrong. And, most likely, they will find a compromise solution that satisfies everyone.
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