Children as a chance to improve his career and apartment





27.09.2010 00:00
The interest in this very ordinary family came when her life was radically changed. And before that neither relatives nor acquaintances no perplexity was not. Despite the fact that two adult man with two children for years not improve their living conditions, having to all possibilities.

He was a doctor. Very good, promising at the institute, and after the distribution of just the same as the only light in the window of an entire district hospital - and for its staff and its patients.

Asked why he went to the clinic, with all the possibilities not only get to the hospital, but remain at the department is still open. Unless, of course, do not take into account his starry-eyed explanations that de doctors and clinics are needed.

She had not had time to get a specialty, since she married him too early, barely finishing high school. Exactly one year later they had their first child, and after two years - the second. Somehow it was not up to the specialty.

They lived at first hand to mouth. But housing them God was generous: he had a apartment in the center - a small studio, but his own, and she had a "kopeck piece" somewhere in the sleeping area.

They went to live with him. A "kopeck piece" passed. So they lived. It seems crowded. But his wages did not run away. He treated the people who wrote a thesis sluggishly and did not respond to invitations to work in a hospital, despite the fact that such a job would give him and his family much larger incomes.

She quietly somehow dropped, put on weight and went to the house in a dirty robe, somehow governed the everyday life and children. She also repeatedly offered to transform lives, take their children to kindergarten, but she was in no hurry to heed good advice.

It took no less than seven years of marriage. And then overnight everything changed. The eldest was to go to school when it was revealed that his father still has finished his dissertation. Redress and to flattering offer of work, leaving his clinic only one day of attendance.

Welfare sharply grown up. It became possible to relieve the family living space and live finally, not yutyas each other`s heads. What was done in the shortest possible time. Younger son was sent to kindergarten, and sharply prettier wife went to the courses in English and typing, to be able to go to work at least in the position of secretary. Along the way, she busied herself volunteering at the nearby apartment of a new orphanage.

Old acquaintances simply did not recognize the couple. Their new situation caused if you do not worry, it matters. But the couple themselves accountable in their actions could not. What encouraged them to sharp change of life remained a mystery to them.

Comment psychologist Barbara Sidorova:
Family - an independent living organism. This organism lives its own life, beginning with education, passing the period of formation, maturity, decay and death *.

But people who are a family, follow these processes in addition to their will. But, of course, everything that happens, turns them into something concrete actions and feelings. People are aware of them and live, in contrast to those processes that control the body called "family".

This family is going through one of the most important moments of crisis in his life: the eldest child goes to school. First baby in the family is growing, both in the nest. So, how I want it to parents, it seems right to them and, simply, how it is. Parents themselves determine the successes and failures of education and nurturing of the child.

Care kids in school - an exam for the whole family. Now the success of education will be verified by external things. In addition, when a child goes to school, it inevitably increases the distance between them and their parents. This is his first step into adulthood.

Unconscious anxiety in the family increases as we approach the moment of leaving the child in school. Cope with these people in different ways. In our case, if you look at the results of actions parents can see that firstly, the parents are ready for change, and it is very constructive.

And secondly, the parents themselves make many actions that will be socially approved in their environment. They seem to be insured, creating a favorable background disturbing developments.

Most likely, even if at first their child will be some tension in the school, the family successfully cope with this crisis.

* The cycle of family development:
First Family - this is one person (in the case of our country, burdened by housing question: one plus his old parents).
Then, one plus one.
Then the child is born, and the family turns into a two plus one.
Then the second baby, perhaps a third, and so on until the last child.
The next stage - to check family rules the external environment, when the first child goes to school.
Next - the last child goes to school, moving away from the family nest.
Next to parents comes a midlife crisis, and in children age transition and separation.
Then the first child leaves home to independent living.
Koda goes past, the family again consists of "one plus one".
And so one dies. The family remains the one remaining.
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Content tags: Housing Apartment
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